the you i know today.

i really really hope u wont lie anymore.

isit so hard for u to stop lying and be faithful?

is it really that hard to just stick to one person?

honesty, communication and trust are damn important factors in a rs.

without one of these, the rs would just get rocky.

tried and tested.

Today, i got to know the real you. deep inside.

the scary u. and im scared.

i don't like this you.

But, Perhaps this is the real u.

the one i knew before, was someone i just assumed u were.

an image i portrayed in my mind from what i hear from pple arnd me abt u.

Slowly and steadily,

u broke all those images one by one.

suddenly u r not mr perfect anymore.

Disappointing. but its a harsh fact.

good guy bad guy

If u are a super great guy who does bad things,

that makes u worse than a bad guy who does good things.

Cos u dont deserve that 'good guy' title at all.

:'/

我们都傻

计算着为你流下了多少眼泪
就代表又对我的心 撒了多少谎
但每次我都选择 选择相信
相信你是 爱我的

倔强的以为我真的能改变你
看你装无辜的眼神 我很窒息
难道你没有看见 看见我对你的好
还是你忘了 那些数不清的爱情轨迹

你说我傻 傻在爱上只懂爱自己的人
我说你傻 傻在爱她 你的眼睛骗不了人
我们都傻 傻在为一段没有未来的爱情付出
还在期待会有奇迹出现

你说我傻 傻在爱上没有感情的分身
我说你傻 傻在爱她 就固执的奋不顾身
我们都傻 傻在宁愿被牺牲也不愿放弃天真
还在期待会有奇迹出现

谁没有为爱做过傻事　
只是问心无愧 讽刺也无所谓

我说我傻 傻在爱上没有感情的分身
你说你傻 傻在爱他 就固执的奋不顾身
我们都傻 傻在宁愿被牺牲也不愿放弃天真
还在期待会有奇迹出现
还在期待会有奇迹出现

:'(

thats it. the end is near...

very near.

sad, yes.

but it has to stop.

selfish bitch and bastard

You 2 are selfish people.

if both of u wants to be childish and keep messing up with ur own lives then just go ahead.

but in case u r not aware, u are messing other people's too.

SELFISH.

and i dont know why am i messing up my own life my entwining it with urs.

its really an act of idiocy and stupidity, what im doing.

Problems once more..

Why is the bitch talking abt a language i dont understand?
cant speak eng i guess.

Anyway,
whatever she said,
i dont know if its real or fake.
and i alrd dont really care as much abt
whether or not u r still unbroken from ur past rs,
u want to be a lousy boyfriend and spoil this rs,
its up to u.
But i wont do tht to u thts for sure.
bcos im not like u.. and her,
keep disrupting other people's life.
mayb she thinks that by making my life miserable would make hers happier,
then by all means, just let her contd.
eventually, this would just take its toll on her.

And to you: if u think im not good enough for you,
or that i lack of smth that u would love to have in a gf,
then tell me! either that or just get lost.
i dont need a guy who just keeps lying and lying.
im sure ure matured enough to know that lies cant sustain a long lasting rs.
and once u start to lie, thats it. it just continues...
so if u r just playing me, then can u pls inform me earlier?
so tht i wont have to take us too seriously.

im not stopping u to contact her u know,
its just that u should know how to behave.
u should differentiate between present tense and past tense.
and how to reject appropriately,
and when to stop contact.
u might not know or disagree. but u dont know how to handle a rs well..

You keep asking me to trust u. and asking me y i still dont believe in you. that u really change le.
i would ask u to put urself in my shoe and think before doing anything that would affect us.

I take every rs im in seriously.
i really love the person and wont do anything to hurt him once i choose to be with him.
but if he wants to be a bastard,
then im sorry to tell him that he doesnt deserve me at all.

A bitch and a bastard should belong tgt.
well, she is a bitch. are u a bastard?

Once Again...

hm.... always that same problem.

can we get it solved?

or would that prob solve us in future?

Honestly speaking, i dont know what im feeling right now.

its like feelingless alrd aft all those torturous months ive been through.

i really really wish time could go back and u didnt do all those stuff in the first place

and when i hvnt lost all those feelings.

but o well, thts in the past alrd isnt it?

time move on, things move on, people too move on.

we(i) must learn to adapt.

but i really hope, like u said, that i can really put my faith in u and believe u once again, again:)

I really hope too, that ur love for me is not just superficial.

but tht there is alrd a depth to it aft so many months...

12 more days:(

I hope u would really miss me and only me aft these 12 days...

i should trust that u would....

16 more days:(

then its goodbye...

so fast!!!

hopefully u wont go in with me and come out with another.

thts wad im afraid of..

but haiya, we shall see bahs~

Meanwhile, we'll just enjoy our days tgt:)

BABY! <3<3<3 , (L)

It just keeps repeating

I think its time.

You dont really feel for me that way do you?

I guess so too..

i have a lot in mind.

But its useless to tell you.

you dont understand.

even if u do, u wont do anything to change it.

Instead of protecting me,

you're hurting me. deeply.

I dont know what u r thinking

and why u r doing this to me.

I've not done any single thing to hurt you at all.

But why do u keep inflicting injuries on me.

And you didnt even give me time to heal.

You dont love me jiu stop acting like you do.

I hate pple who do that.

Confirmation?

i say not confirm

but inside me, its confirmed.

you say confirm

but inside u, its not confirmed.

i can tell through ur actions...

there are many signs to show that.

and it hurts.

yes, it does. but i dont know how to make it feel ok.

only u have the ability to do that.

but dont ask me how.

u goto prove it urself and show it from inside u.

CANT WE HAVE OUR DAYS TOO?

Im going through an emotional turmoil again-.-

But ive been supressing this kind of emotions inside me since our that talk the other time abt not being emo.

Many a times, i wanted to express my emotions.

then i thought of our talk.

and i supressed it back again

and tried facing it positively.

But cant a girl PMS sometimes too?

Today is a lousy day.

Normally, aft our talk, and u talk to me in those sian and uninterested tone, i would swallow it and face it positively.

but suay suay, today my mood not good.

Cos i didnt get enough rest today.

ive been in front of the comp since this morn and hasnt left this position yet. cept for meals.

Then when u talk to me..(yea u know.i dont want to repeat)

that led me to overthinking AGAIN.( i tot i had alrd stopped tht. aft controlling myself)

Aft that some stupid guy msged me and spoilt my day.

Then u had to meet a fren tmr night-.-

i was alrd unhappy that i spoilt our tues. that was my bad.

then now our thurs also spoilt.

Can you see why im in such a bad mood le bahs.

And im still in a bad mood.

LOUSAE DAE~

Im a moody queen tday.

DONT AGITATE ME.

Angilica Ong.

For a Special Someone!

This song is for my baobei baby!

Thanks for changing for me:)

地震的夜晚 赶来作伴
重感冒的凌晨 煮着稀饭
这个让我哭过的人多么温暖
我感谢我们不完美 却坦白自然

我们从牵手放手 又牵手 走过来
愿意为更懂你的心 Spending all my life
每当情绪像海 你只抱我 从不催我讲出来
我就明白 你是我的依赖

我们从期待失落 又期待 走过来
愿意为一起看未来 Spending all my life
每当变成习惯 生活太淡 总有感动的意外
就算是幸福都由老天在管
只借不送 我还是不肯还 用真爱耍赖

我们从日出日落 又日出 走过来
愿意为爱你去忙碌 Spending all my life
每当命运变幻 需要狂欢 需要流泪 你都在
我们明白 爱是互相依赖

p.s the song is on my fb.

THOUGHTS

I had a happy day with u tday:)

I realised things today too.

So i thought through abt wad i should and shouldnt do in future.

What i did wrong:

Recently, I commented.

But dont worry, im never going to do that again...

I didnt know it would affect u so much.

You deleted a gf's comment. but u left ur ex's there.

and ur profile is all filled with her.

its clear enough to other pple who is ur gf le bahs :)

Its humiliating for me.

[But u dont have to delete her post la. i know u dont mind her posting.

cos she always have the right. its so obvious alrd, who is more impt. it doesnt matter to me anymore anyway:)]

But i understand le.

Im never going to do anything public that is related to u le:)

So no worries k.

Im not emoing la :)

I just kinda thought through some stuff.

And decided on my next action.

Cheers and Smiles!

Angilica Ong~

It's You.

I dont understand why are you doing this to me.
Can u tell me why?
You're driving me into a depression le.
I hate this feeling.

But guess what?
each time it happens,
im feeling the hurt lesser and lesser.
I think its starting to affect me less le.
If one day i realise tht it doesnt matter to me anymore.
i guess thats the end of my love for you le bahs.
And pls rmb...
You are the one who made me this way.
If this were to happen one day,
You are the one that forced me to stop loving you.
Dont blame anyone.
Not even the girls and that bitch.
Although they play a big part.

You just dont see it,do you?
The main problem lies in you.

i want my mummy

When im sad i think of her
When im depressed i think of her
When im upset i think of her
When im emo-ing i think of her
.
.
.
I missed the feeling of having a real Mummy...

A moment of sweetness. Then its all gone...

I'm getting the attack again :(

It's kind of like u see smth u really wish u hadnt.

then that surge of hotness boils up in u. all the way to ur throat.

then u start to find it hard to breathe properly

then it subsides.

but the feeling is still there.

and it will stay there for as long as the thing has found a solution.

Why lie to me again?

Sometimes...

Sometimes, i think abt us and i dunno y i deserve this kind of treatment from u.
Sometimes, i think that u take for granted the effort i put into our rs.
Sometimes, i feel that i should just take it easy, be like u and just succumb to temptations.
Sometimes, i feel that i should just let it go and revert back to my old ways.
Sometimes, i wonder why am i holding on.
Sometimes, i feel that im in this rs alone.
Sometimes, i think abt us. and i feel sad.
Sometimes, i ponder. Why do u want to act this way.
Sometimes, i wonder why isit so hard for u to not flirt arnd. Mayb its bcos u hvnt had enough fun yet to finally settle down into a real rs.... Maybe we met too early :'(

Most of the time, i just think of us and wonder what went wrong with ME for u to treat me like this...... Like the rest of them did. but it felt worst with u cos in our rs, i really put in alot of effort and stayed faithful. I just feel that ure not taking my efforts seriously. its disappointing to see my efforts go to waste. Perhaps i have done wrong by staying loyal to just one guy?

I must have done something wrong somewhere.
I think its me.
It must be me...

PARANOID ME

Something's changing.
Something's going wierd...
i can tell.
im tryin to ignore it.
i dont want to worry
but im worried.
i hope its just a wrong feeling of mine.
im scared.
insecured.
zen me ban:(

+Angilica Ong+

THE BEST THING I NEVER HAD

What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy I, must've been outta my mind
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you

Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
So baby good lookin' out

[Chorus]
I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had
I bet it sucks to be you right now

So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears
I guess that's why they ain't there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you

Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
Baby good lookin' out

I know you want me back
It's time to face the facts
That I'm the one that's got away
Lord knows that it would take another place, another time, another world, another life
Thank God I found the good in goodbye

Goes around, comes back around
Bet it sucks to be you right now

=Beyonce Knowles=

Angilica Ong