It just keeps repeating

I think its time.

You dont really feel for me that way do you?

I guess so too..

i have a lot in mind.

But its useless to tell you.

you dont understand.

even if u do, u wont do anything to change it.

Instead of protecting me,

you're hurting me. deeply.

I dont know what u r thinking

and why u r doing this to me.

I've not done any single thing to hurt you at all.

But why do u keep inflicting injuries on me.

And you didnt even give me time to heal.

You dont love me jiu stop acting like you do.

I hate pple who do that.

Confirmation?

i say not confirm

but inside me, its confirmed.

you say confirm

but inside u, its not confirmed.

i can tell through ur actions...

there are many signs to show that.

and it hurts.

yes, it does. but i dont know how to make it feel ok.

only u have the ability to do that.

but dont ask me how.

u goto prove it urself and show it from inside u.

CANT WE HAVE OUR DAYS TOO?

Im going through an emotional turmoil again-.-

But ive been supressing this kind of emotions inside me since our that talk the other time abt not being emo.

Many a times, i wanted to express my emotions.

then i thought of our talk.

and i supressed it back again

and tried facing it positively.

But cant a girl PMS sometimes too?

Today is a lousy day.

Normally, aft our talk, and u talk to me in those sian and uninterested tone, i would swallow it and face it positively.

but suay suay, today my mood not good.

Cos i didnt get enough rest today.

ive been in front of the comp since this morn and hasnt left this position yet. cept for meals.

Then when u talk to me..(yea u know.i dont want to repeat)

that led me to overthinking AGAIN.( i tot i had alrd stopped tht. aft controlling myself)

Aft that some stupid guy msged me and spoilt my day.

Then u had to meet a fren tmr night-.-

i was alrd unhappy that i spoilt our tues. that was my bad.

then now our thurs also spoilt.

Can you see why im in such a bad mood le bahs.

And im still in a bad mood.

LOUSAE DAE~

Im a moody queen tday.

DONT AGITATE ME.

Angilica Ong.

For a Special Someone!

This song is for my baobei baby!

Thanks for changing for me:)

地震的夜晚 赶来作伴
重感冒的凌晨 煮着稀饭
这个让我哭过的人多么温暖
我感谢我们不完美 却坦白自然

我们从牵手放手 又牵手 走过来
愿意为更懂你的心 Spending all my life
每当情绪像海 你只抱我 从不催我讲出来
我就明白 你是我的依赖

我们从期待失落 又期待 走过来
愿意为一起看未来 Spending all my life
每当变成习惯 生活太淡 总有感动的意外
就算是幸福都由老天在管
只借不送 我还是不肯还 用真爱耍赖

我们从日出日落 又日出 走过来
愿意为爱你去忙碌 Spending all my life
每当命运变幻 需要狂欢 需要流泪 你都在
我们明白 爱是互相依赖

p.s the song is on my fb.

THOUGHTS

I had a happy day with u tday:)

I realised things today too.

So i thought through abt wad i should and shouldnt do in future.

What i did wrong:

Recently, I commented.

But dont worry, im never going to do that again...

I didnt know it would affect u so much.

You deleted a gf's comment. but u left ur ex's there.

and ur profile is all filled with her.

its clear enough to other pple who is ur gf le bahs :)

Its humiliating for me.

[But u dont have to delete her post la. i know u dont mind her posting.

cos she always have the right. its so obvious alrd, who is more impt. it doesnt matter to me anymore anyway:)]

But i understand le.

Im never going to do anything public that is related to u le:)

So no worries k.

Im not emoing la :)

I just kinda thought through some stuff.

And decided on my next action.

Cheers and Smiles!

Angilica Ong~

It's You.

I dont understand why are you doing this to me.
Can u tell me why?
You're driving me into a depression le.
I hate this feeling.

But guess what?
each time it happens,
im feeling the hurt lesser and lesser.
I think its starting to affect me less le.
If one day i realise tht it doesnt matter to me anymore.
i guess thats the end of my love for you le bahs.
And pls rmb...
You are the one who made me this way.
If this were to happen one day,
You are the one that forced me to stop loving you.
Dont blame anyone.
Not even the girls and that bitch.
Although they play a big part.

You just dont see it,do you?
The main problem lies in you.

i want my mummy

When im sad i think of her
When im depressed i think of her
When im upset i think of her
When im emo-ing i think of her
.
.
.
I missed the feeling of having a real Mummy...

A moment of sweetness. Then its all gone...

I'm getting the attack again :(

It's kind of like u see smth u really wish u hadnt.

then that surge of hotness boils up in u. all the way to ur throat.

then u start to find it hard to breathe properly

then it subsides.

but the feeling is still there.

and it will stay there for as long as the thing has found a solution.

Why lie to me again?

Sometimes...

Sometimes, i think abt us and i dunno y i deserve this kind of treatment from u.
Sometimes, i think that u take for granted the effort i put into our rs.
Sometimes, i feel that i should just take it easy, be like u and just succumb to temptations.
Sometimes, i feel that i should just let it go and revert back to my old ways.
Sometimes, i wonder why am i holding on.
Sometimes, i feel that im in this rs alone.
Sometimes, i think abt us. and i feel sad.
Sometimes, i ponder. Why do u want to act this way.
Sometimes, i wonder why isit so hard for u to not flirt arnd. Mayb its bcos u hvnt had enough fun yet to finally settle down into a real rs.... Maybe we met too early :'(

Most of the time, i just think of us and wonder what went wrong with ME for u to treat me like this...... Like the rest of them did. but it felt worst with u cos in our rs, i really put in alot of effort and stayed faithful. I just feel that ure not taking my efforts seriously. its disappointing to see my efforts go to waste. Perhaps i have done wrong by staying loyal to just one guy?

I must have done something wrong somewhere.
I think its me.
It must be me...

PARANOID ME

Something's changing.
Something's going wierd...
i can tell.
im tryin to ignore it.
i dont want to worry
but im worried.
i hope its just a wrong feeling of mine.
im scared.
insecured.
zen me ban:(

+Angilica Ong+

THE BEST THING I NEVER HAD

What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy I, must've been outta my mind
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you

Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
So baby good lookin' out

[Chorus]
I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had
I bet it sucks to be you right now

So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears
I guess that's why they ain't there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you

Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
Baby good lookin' out

I know you want me back
It's time to face the facts
That I'm the one that's got away
Lord knows that it would take another place, another time, another world, another life
Thank God I found the good in goodbye

Goes around, comes back around
Bet it sucks to be you right now

=Beyonce Knowles=

Angilica Ong

Unhappy:/ ... PMS?

I hope that God she is worshipping on forgives her.

For doing wad she is doing now.

And for saying wad she has said.

People down here are very blind.

He thinks she feels guilty whenever we quarrel bcos of her.

BECAUSE she SAID so.

So if i tell you that she doesnt actually feel that way,

would you believe me?

(i dont think so. i have a feeling u take her more seriously than u take me.)

Cos somebody with a conscience and who feels guilty for doing it,

is less likely to repeat whatever wrong she is doing.

And yup, no apologies from her to me.

For treating my rs like this.

and treating me like rubbish.

So yup no sincerity.

and pls, if ure reading this, i know u r.

its no use forcing somebody to apologise when she doesnt mean it.

just stop talking and meeting her i would be happy le.

And lastly,

To her:

Thank you BITCH. i would thank u even more if u can just FUCK OFF.

Ok le.

But no matter how much i want to,

Things are nvr the same le...

Everything has changed le.

You have allowed it to repeat again and again,

believing in the wrong person.

I have let it affect me,

trusting the wrong person.

It seems ok now,

but we all know deep inside,

its different le :(

i would really do anything to let us be like how we first met again.

But its hard. Its really hard.

I've tried. i really did. i know u try too. and i am happy. i really am:)

but its just different le.

broken promises. broken trust.

I really had enough of this le.
I trusted u the first time round,
u broke it.
I gave u a second chance,
u broke it again.
I find it hard to trust u le.
then u said u would change.
and u really showed progress.
So i trusted u once more.
I gave u a third chance.
Now u have to go and break that trust again.
i SHOU GOU le.
wad do u take me as.
Somebody who is not impt??
just a fling or smth???!!!
u keep telling me that u and her are impossible alrd.
so y does she keep appearing in ur life.
do u know how impt family meetings are??
your EX can be there but ur GF is not.
y is that so?
and u keep lying to me.
i thought u had alrd kicked away that habit le?
i guess its hard for u right..old habits die hard.
u should just go back to be with that somebody u thought is 'impossible' with.
this is really really ridiculous.
WTH.

Relationship = Game

The Love Relationship is like a Game.

There are 3 endings to it.

It's either a win-win situation

where everybody lives happily ever after.

Or a win-lose situation

where the victor moves on and the loser breaks down

The last one would be the lose-lose situation.

It is where both parties do not want to leave but they have got no choice.

I would really want to experience the first option.

But Somehow, having to find the right one is really difficult.

Has he appeared alrd??

hmm...im still wondering and waiting for some signs...

P.s When u r in a rs with somebody, and he/she doesnt want to admit being in a rs with u.

and meanwhile keep telling other people that he is single, does this mean that he is not the right one? is it time to move on? or do i have to wait painfully and see?

?

Will you really Change?

THE 3 CRITS

Its simple what i want in a man.

• I want a man who is loyal and faithful (no flirting)

• I want a guy who can always be honest with me and doesnt lie (to share with me his ups and downs and all the stuff that happened to him in life)

• I want a guy who loves me for me and just me.

These are 3 sentence to summarise what i wrote initially.

This was wad i typed before ...

I REALLY REALLY want us to be happy tgt once more.

but i think its kinda impossible now le isnt it?

we cant go back even if we tried.

its sad seriously.

i dont know why u have to do this to me from the start.

Is it me?It must be me.

Did i not give u enough love?

Did i give u insecurities from the start?

Did i do smth wrong to u?

U might think i dont know anything that ure doing now.

but im sorry to tell u tht i do.

And im really sorry that we have to come to this kind of stage.

You know,

All im asking is for u to be loyal and not flirt arnd.

And love only me.

It's really that simple.

we can take away those swt talks

We can take away those presents.

What i want is really so simple.

To love me, only me.

To tell the truth, dont lie.

To be loyal and faithful, stop flirting

Thats all!

But its really difficult to accomplish those 3 criterias isnt it?

Can u see y i say we're like strangers alrd?

Because i found out i dont really know the person i thought i knew,

the perfect guy i want,

The you that doesnt lie,

The you that doesnt flirt.

The you who loves only me

that was last time. we were so happy..

Now, i had to know the real u.

thts y,now, ure just like a stranger.

A normal man. who does all of the above and is not ready for me.

not ready to get into a serious and real rs.

Its really upsetting.

I am not exactly happy right now.

Y does mine always go wrong?

How come some people de relationship can be so perfect?

Perfect as in they quarrel,

They make up.

They still stay in love

There is still trust.

How come mine cant?

Wads wrong with me?

I always thought i found the right man.

Everything was so perfect.

But out of all the things, the most important criteria of a rs has to be destroyed bcos u think its alright to do that.

I really feel wasted that our rs has to go wrong

bcos of what u had done

Its really such a waste.

Summary of my Thoughts 010711

This kind of thing just keeps repeating itself.

Then when we're about to try smth new to change it all,

You protest about smth

and we're back to square one.

This is really frustrating.

We each have our own faults i guess...

I know u've been changing.

and i believe that.Really.

but i still cant help feeling insecure due to the lack of trust.

Which is why i would keep saying stuff like that, hoping u would really promise me and gimme a confirmation that u wouldn't do it again.

but as u promise, u also said that u cant really confirm what's going to happen in future.

-.-''' isnt that as good as not saying whatever promises u made

Can u see now?

Lots of thoughts are going through my mind. and im supposed to give u an ans tmr.

Hopefully u would like it.

If we cant contd anymore,

then all the best to u and ur prospective girls in the future.

Hopefully one day u would find a girl who can tolerate ur (this) character.

If we were to have one more chance to move forward tgt again,

i really hope we wont fall back into this same pattern once more...